The Skinny Bitch Inside Me (Tasted Great with Ketchup!)

Doing it all wrong

2010-05-05T07:02:00.000-07:00

I've lost about 10 pounds over the past 6 months, by doing it the wrong way. Ok, I've read all the stuff. They all say pretty much the same thing: eat 5-6 small meals a day, spread the food out so you don't get hungry. Sounds sensible, yes.

And totally doesn't work for me. It just doesn't. I don't like doing it, for one thing.

Here's what works:

Initially, I was diagnosed with diabetes insipidus, a kidney disease that makes you pee gallons and gallons, causes dehydration because even if you don't drink gallons you will continue to pee them. I was always thirsty, always drinking (even during the night, I kept a 1/2 gallon jug by the bed, and would have to refill it around 2 am), always peeing. Anyway, that diagnoses resulted in the orders to change my diet. I was supposed to eat only things that every single diet plan in the WORLD told me not to eat. No whole grains, only processed ones like white rice, white bread. No leafy green vegetable (WHAT?), no fresh fruit (only canned, WHAT??) and limit my meat to 2 oz a day. Thing is, I HATE processed grains, white bread, canned fruit. So, rather than eating those things, I just quit eating.

It's quite the diet plan. Don't eat. After about 4 months of poptarts for breakfast (BLEH), white rice for lunch (BLEH!) and cabbage (the one veg I could have all I wanted of) for supper, my stomach kind of shrank and I simply wasn't eating as much.

Now that I have permission to return to Normal Food (Yay!) I don't eat as much. In fact, I'm eating roughly twice a day, rather than the recommended 5-6 times. Breakfast around 10 (I don't like to eat when I get up, preferring copious cups of coffee...shhh), supper at 6, and that's all. Maybe an apple 2-ish, but not usually. If I can wait until I am screamingly hungry, and eat until I'm not hungry (rather that until I'm full), I'll eat about 1/2 as much as I used to.

Now, as far as weight is concerned, currently I have no idea. The best I can say is that the size 20 jeans slide off without unbuttoning them. Which is fine. The size 18 dresses kinda hang loose, and the recently purchased size 16 tops fit great!

oh Hi!

2010-04-25T02:31:00.000-07:00

Sone Fox said I could come play here. Here's a short intro: I'm 45 (almost),married (almost)24 years to Terry, and have 4 boys ages 22,20,18 and 11. I once was fat but now I'm round. Due to medications for a psychiatric disorder (that makes it sound like it's someone elses fault, doncha know) I went from 135 pounds to 205, then about 6 months ago the med was changed and I dropped 15 pounds, which is TOTALLY enough to require a new wardrobe, do you agree? We live in the Deepest South (Southeast Georgia not far from Savannah. Think live oaks and spanish moss), where food is a necessary part of any gathering involving more than 1 person.

I doubt I'll ever be 135lbs again, and I'm ok with that, but I'd love to see 150 because that would put me a size 14, which J. Peterman carries and I've always wanted a frock coat from J. Peterman. Terry said if I get there he'll buy me one. Since I am a housewife, I depend on him for spending money and so if it's clothes and it costs more than $100 I kind of expect him to buy it, rather than just going out an getting it for myself.

Anyway my so-called 'weight loss journey' is more like an idle mosey, with an occasional side trip to Uncle Shug's Chicken Barn (Southern style fried chicken OMG!) followed by a week of guilt and lite yogurt. Thank, Stone Fox, for inviting me to play here, oh I know I asked first but you didn't have to.

170.0

2010-04-24T21:48:00.000-07:00

Oy. Painful.

I seem to be creeping ever upwards. I have been running, off and on. I bought a jump rope so I could do some cardio at home if hubby was working. I am trying to get in some weights now and again. I am still struggling with motivation. (Obviously.)

168.0

2010-02-27T23:35:00.000-08:00

PHONING IT IN: aka Not Really Trying At All. see Stone Fox.

Why can't I be one of the lucky few with the genetics to eat whatever the hell I want and never gain a pound? Why does food taste so good and exercise suck so bad?

This episode of Woe, Is Me is brought to you by the letter I (need to stop eating everything in sight) and the number 8(chocolate brownies were eaten by me today).

169.0

2010-02-20T21:49:00.000-08:00

My poor neglected blog. How I haven't missed you. I have only felt guilty for not updating you, which was kind of the purpose of setting you up.

Anyways, I have been noticing that even my stretchy jeans are getting a bit tight in the thighs, so I figure it's time to heave a dramatic sigh, put on a dirty look, roll my eyes, and grumble... and then start keeping track again. Obviously, I have been far too busy shoveling in junk food; my latest addiction is - and I am not kidding here - cheddar flavored popcorn. It's like crack. God I love that shit. I'm sure you could bring down entire herds of elephants with the sodium and MSG alone.

I worked out today for the first time in probably two months. It sucked. I am totally out of shape.

169.0 lbs. Shit.

Week 11

2010-01-26T16:23:00.000-08:00

Weight: 165.0 lbs

I have been writing this post since last Friday. Again, I have lost motivation. If I were following Body For Life, chances are that by now I would have lost 20 lbs or so. All the work that I had put into the program before Christmas has been completely wasted. Nothing is inspiring me lately. What is my problem? It's that I don't really care about taking care of my body right now. It's not important to me. It should be important, I want to want to lose weight, but I just. don't. care. I have a Really Crap Attitude these days, I know. I keep waiting for the thing that is going to turn the light bulb in my brain to On again.

See ya next week.

Do I Stay or Do I Go?

2010-01-14T19:02:00.000-08:00

With my husband's school schedule, getting up has been rough. Seriously, after going to be at midnight and waking up a few times with kids, 5 am comes way too early.

However, once I get out of bed, I am usually motivated. So, I was glad that I actually made it out of bed this morning!

Right now, I am trying a new workout routine. Due to past injuries and having just had a baby, I am taking things slow. I jog/walk about 2 miles in 30 minutes. I break up the jogging and the walking to keep my heart from popping out of my chest. This also gives my legs adequate rest from the strenuous jogging. An added benefit? Burns lots of fat. That's right, ladies, if you keep your jog nice and slow, you burn more calores. Aerobic exercise, as it is referred to. Anaerobic, or without oxygen, does not burn fat. Thus, I am keeping the oxygen flowing.

Without further ado (or rambling) this is how I usually workout.
I walk two laps, to warm up, follow with a slow-paced jog for another three laps, walk two more laps, jog three laps, and end with a couple more laps around the track. I work up copious amounts of sweat and feel great afterwards.

I stretch before and after the workout. Since I do not have the time for an extended workout, I will usually end with push-ups and abdominal cruches. These help my core and give me the strength training I need.

Here's to tomorrow! Wish me luck!

Week 9

2010-01-08T20:57:00.000-08:00

Weight: 165.5

I did work out every day except today. Eating was.. fair. Not great, not terrible. Some extra treats, more missed meals than I am happy with. I did not take a whole Free Day today; I had a restaurant hamburger for dinner and some Hershey's kisses earlier. We had a couple of really rough mornings yesterday and today. And by "rough morning" I mean that at least one kid was up at 5am or earlier and would not settle back to bed. I'm kind of on the brink of sleep deprivation insanity. I needs my beauty sleep.

Why am I working out?

2010-01-07T09:44:00.000-08:00

This morning, I did not get up. I wanted to work out, but 5 am came much too early.

It led me to ponder. Will I go back to my routine? Or, shall I mark this as another failure?

And, why am I working out?

Then, I remembered. I am working out because I need to. I need that time in the morning to think. Think about the upcoming day, my goals, and how I can be the best "me."

I find hope when I run/walk. I find joy. I find peace.

So, I may not have got up this morning, but I shall get up tomorrow. I will continue. I know I can fit into my pants again.

Week 8

2010-01-03T21:27:00.000-08:00

Weight: 166.5

I am only surprised it is not higher. Restraint? Nope. Common sense? None. Listening when I tell myself to slow the eff down? Fell on deaf ears. I did work out most days, but I think this oldie but goodie applies here:

Weight loss is 80% nutrition.

It might be true but I don't have to like it. I would rather work out hard for an hour than have to monitor my food all freaking day. I have little conversations with myself about food. About why I eat the way I eat. Why don't I eat more fruits and veggies? (I'm not a fan of veggies, really.) When did people in general go from eating whole foods to eating crap? There is a school of thought in the nutrition world that if it wasn't a food 100 years ago, you shouldn't eat it. I think there is definitely some merit in that idea. What did folks eat 100 years ago? Meat, grains, fruits and veg. Lots of veg. A hundred years ago veggies were cheap and would feed a ton of people and you'd never really run out. A hundred years ago everything was "organic" but nothing required a label as food was (as the commercial says) simply un-fooled-around with. I am trying to re-teach my palate to like some of the veggies that I don't eat. I know this can be done as I have retrained my brain to like V8 veggie cocktail, where before I hated it. (The secret: chug that em-effer back and slam a diet pepsi right after. (Don't do the pepsi all in one shot or you'll barf up both. Just sayin'.)) I am trying to view things like cheezy poofs (God I love cheezy poofs. With a big part of my entire being.) as not a real food. Something that artificial looking cannot possibly be healthy (but so tasty, dammit. So tasty. I love you, cheezy poofs). Retraining the brain is as hard as it sounds. I am not very good at it yet, as I still habitually chose a sweet or a simple carb over a veggie. I know I'm not the only one to get halfway through a handful of cookies and think to myself, Damn, why didn't I think to grab an apple instead?

When I was younger, I could lose weight by exercising. I never had it easy or anything, it's not like fat just melted off. I had to sweat off the pounds and watch my diet. If I stuck to the BFL plan, I would lose 2 - 4 lbs/week. Consistently. What I am noticing now is that I must work harder, sweat more, and have fewer Free Days just to see the scale move a bit. Also, I am finding it much harder to make good food choices, especially after the kids go to bed. The worst part, though, is as soon as I fall off the wagon, I lose all of my gains. I am back to where? Week Three. In the last three weeks, I have put on 4.5 lbs and set myself back 5 weeks. Ugh. That's hard to see in writing. BUT! I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I will get back up and shake it off and keep pushing forward.

Week 6

2009-12-19T09:33:00.000-08:00

Weight: 164.5

Needless to say, this past week was a total write-off. I missed most of my workouts and from Tuesday on my eating plan was right out the window. This morning as I was thinking about what I was going to post, I realized that I am really good at sticking to the game plan if I am in control of all the variables. However, if there is an unforeseen change or an extra stressor or an added factor, I fall off the wagon. Obviously.

Next week is Christmas. We'll see how it goes.

Week 5

2009-12-11T16:50:00.000-08:00

Weight: 162.0

I can't get excited about this because: I cheated. I cheated on Tuesday and Wednesday when I was doing Christmas baking. My absolute weakness is Chocolate Candy Cane Cookies. They are the best cookies in the entire world. Ever. I had no less than five of them on Tuesday. On Wednesday I was baking Oatmeal Chocolate Chip cookies and had a few of those, too. Not only that, but I missed my Thursday workout. I don't know if I'll make up for it today, either. I didn't have Free Day today; there is a birthday party my kids and I are going to tomorrow, so I'll have Free Day tomorrow instead. Also, my eating has been erratic at best.

I just don't feel like I earned this weight loss this week.

Week 4

2009-12-04T13:34:00.000-08:00

Weight: 166.0

I got on the scale last Monday and it was at 165.0 so WAHOO! Massage here I come! I took a Free Day on Wednesday, so I'm sitting at 166 today. I am not taking a Free Day today, although I feel a bit tempted. The weather is crap outside and all I want to do is put a movie on and eat some Doritos. And I have Christmas baking to do today. Oh, and for the sake of complete and total honesty, I did have a small chunk of chocolate banana bread when I was splitting the last piece up for the kids. I got all my workouts in this week. No cheating. Still did not get enough fruits and veg in this week. I think I am going to try eating my fruits and veg in the first three meals of the day. Hopefully I'll get closer to getting my 5 servings every day.

How was your week?

Week 3

2009-11-27T13:05:00.000-08:00

Weight: 167.0 lbs

Now I'm starting to get a little pissy. I'm putting Free Day off until I can shake two more pounds (or next Friday at the latest, because come on, I gotta be realistic). I never, ever before put any stock in the theory that stress affects weight loss because I don't think I've ever been this stressed. I am all over the map, mentally and emotionally, these days. Thank G-d I have gotten back on the Pill. I desperately need some hormone regulation. I haven't cheated on my program. I haven't missed any workouts. It would be nice to see the scale move. DID YOU HEAR THAT, SCALE? Lots of people who do BFL say they don't see numbers move until about Week 6; I really hope I don't have to wait that long.

Thanksgiving Confession

2009-11-27T09:44:00.000-08:00

6 oz of Turkey=340 calories
mashed potatoes and gravy=400 calories
2 dinner rolls=220 calories
pies=somewhere in the 500 calorie range

Running 5 miles this morning=priceless!!!

Training for the half marathon has kept me in line. Although I consumed over 1500 calories in one sitting it was the only meal I ate yesterday, and instead of braving "Black Friday" with everyone else I decided to go running. It was exhilarating! I watched the sun come up over the mountains and I felt like I could run for the entire day!! And even though I haven't lost one pound yet I have high hopes knowing that I am in much better shape!!

So it's another Holiday...

2009-11-25T15:34:00.000-08:00

Yes Thanksgiving is upon us. And yes, I fully intend to enjoy it and the fine food it has to offer. However, the very next morning I am rising early to make a quick road trip to see several of my closest High School girlfriends. Some of whom I haven't seen since we graduated 25 years ago.

I have worked my very large tail off these last few weeks to drop a few pounds and, if the doctors scale last week is telling the truth, it's working. (And I swear I didn't sneak in and sabotage the beastly thing during the night just to get it co-operate!)

So here's my fear...what if I WAY OVERDO it tomorrow on all of the amazing food and wine that will be weighing down my table?! I'm down a size in jeans and if BSP can be believed, and I think he can be, my booty is looking good. I don't want to blow it, I really, really don't but oh the food and wine....

I'm wondering if anyone else is struggling with the evil bitch who's inside my head who is parading the food and the wine before my virtual eyes and going "nah, nah, nah, nah"!!!

Anyone, anyone?

Hollywood diet secrets from Kathy Griffin

2009-11-20T12:18:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Stone for letting me contribute here. I was watching this the other night on Bravo and I couldn't stop laughing so I wanted to share her diet secrets with you. Fast forward to about 2:48 to find out how all those actresses and models stay so svelte!

I don't recommend that by any means. But I think that to make weight loss less painful it requires some laughter (because that burns calories too).

I don't have any secrets but I do try to stick to Weight Watchers plan. I have been living my life the Weight Watcher way off and on since I was 16 (that's nearly 20 years people) and when I make that lifestyle change commitment I have ALWAYS seen results.

So here's to sticking to my lifestyle change and training for my half marathon in January. Wish me luck and come along for the ride!!

You can also see me over here.

Week 2

2009-11-20T09:36:00.000-08:00

Weight: 167.0 lbs

Dammit! I was really hoping that I would be able to book that massage this week. BFL gives you a schedule in which you eat 6 times a day, with about 2 - 3 hrs between meals. One of my biggest problems with eating properly is that I will often not eat enough during the day, then try to "catch up" in the evening. So instead of eating supper at 5:30 and snack at 7:30, I am trying to eat extra supper, or having to double up my snack at 7:30, or having snack at 7:30 and again at 8pm. Obviously, it doesn't work. I did really good Week 1 and part of Week 2; definitely this past Wednesday and Thursday I did not make sure that I was eating every couple of hours. Also, I have noticed that a lack of sleep causes the scale to not move. A lack of sleep caused by a Baby Pork Chop who is waking up hungry at 4:30 in the morning. Awesome!

Good thing today is Free Day, so I can drown my sorrows in Chocolate Banana Bread. Or Cheezies. Or other assorted junk food. Likely in mass quantities.

How was your week?

My downfall

2009-11-16T10:25:00.000-08:00

I readily admit, I love to eat. But here's the honest truth. It's not the food that packs on the pounds and makes my ass the size it is. It's the booze.

I really, really enjoy a good glass of wine or 10. Or an ice cold Beer. Or a good mixed drink. Anyway, I think you get the picture. However, I DON'Twant to have my butt look like the State of Texas. So about three weeks ago or so, I decided it was time to drastically reduced my alcohol intake.

I stopped drinking Chardonnay all together after doing some research. Did you know you can find these "wonderful"(said sarcastically) calorie calculators all over the Internet? After doing some quick research, I discovered I was adding an additional 300 calories to my day and that's erring on the side of caution. Truth be told, I bet it was closer to 500-600 a day. Yeah. I like to drink.

Now the other horrific truth for me, it's a lot harder to lose weight at 42 than it was at 24. At that age, all I used to have to do was take a few days off from eating and whamo! Back into some sexy jeans and life is good again. These days, not so much.

Stone is far braver than I am in that she is willing to share her actual weight and be accountable. So this is my first step at accountability. Sharing with you guys my love for alcohol and the struggle for me to leave it alone. I wish I could tell you that the scale is showing drastic improvements. It isn't. Slight improvements, yes. Drastic, no. According to my last visit at the doctors office for my annual check-up two weeks ago (and aren't THOSE just loaded with good news?!) to my last step onto the monster (scale) that lives in our spare bath, I've managed to reduce myself by about 7 pounds.

I keep telling myself that it will all be worth it in the end. Right?

Week 1

2009-11-13T11:55:00.000-08:00

Weight: 167.0 lbs

Yahoo!! The scale moved!! I was a bit worried that I might not see any results so soon, but I am sure glad I did. I worked out everyday; five of those days I even managed to get it in before breakfast. In my own personal experience, this makes a huge difference for me when it comes to losing the pounds. I think the biggest thing was that I did not cheat on my diet; I ate my 6 meals a day and NO junk food.

I am not taking my free day today, instead I will take it tomorrow. Tomorrow is the birthday party for my two little ones. There will be pizza. There will be cake - TWO kinds, even. There will be ice cream. There will be candy.

The day after, there will be me sitting on the can. I don't care what anyone says, Junk Food Hangover is totally worth it.

Soon-ish, I may or may not be posting a Before picture of myself. Depends on how fat I look.

In the beginning...

2009-11-08T13:20:00.000-08:00

Weight: 170.0 lbs.

Lots of carrot, and not so much stick:

Drop 5 lbs, get a reward! Fun stuff. As soon as I hit 165 lbs, I am getting a massage. How hard is that? Not hard at all. Five pounds is easy peasy.

I am going to use the Body For Life method, which I have used in the past and it has definitely worked for me. For realz. You can find Body For Life by clicking here. There is also a Body For Life book which I *love*. I have seen a Body For Life for Women, but have not heard good things about it. However, I have not read it myself.

A quick note about BFL: It is not a shortcut or easy way out. They (as in The People Behind BFL) recommend supplements, but also state that supplements are not required to do BFL. I have never, ever used supplements. Unless you consider chocolate covered Power Bar Triple Threat bars "supplements." Also, I have never submitted myself for the actual contest.

The thing I love about BFL is that there is a built in Free Day. One day a week, from morning til bedtime, you can eat whatever you want. No holds barred, no fine print; eat whatever. you. want. The only caveat: beware the Dreaded Junk Food Hangover, my friends. For it does exist and will visit it's wrath upon your GI Tract on the day after Free Day should you go completely fucking nuts. Which I have, on numerous occasions.

So I would love to make this a "community" blog; if anyone else is interested in posting their weight loss journey* here, I will add you to the Permissions. You can post about how you are shifting the weight, it doesn't have to be BFL.

*Totally overused phrase, which I like to say in a hushed, awed, mocking tone. It's just too Oprah for me.